I shouldn’t complain. I am 63 years old and have been remarkably healthy and active throughout my life. Beyond occasional migraines, I was healthy for years and took some pride in filling out medical history forms that were mostly blank. Until breaking my leg at age fifty, I really had no trauma or significant surgery that I had to list. But then a couple of years ago, I awakened with a seizure and was found to have episodes of profound low heart rate that subsequently required a pacemaker placement. Test after test revealed no significant abnormality other than the low heart rate. And we thought we had that fixed.

That is, until last week. Evidently (I have no recollection), I had another seizure in my sleep. Gena called EMS and I was taken to the local hospital (in Maryland) where I had another witnessed seizure in the emergency department. After CT’s, MRI’s, EEG’s, and neurology evaluations we didn’t really find anything. Well, maybe a tiny stroke deep in the midbrain, but it hasn’t changed since an MRI in 2021. None of the common reasons for new-onset seizures were found. In medicine we call this an idiopathic seizure disorder. No known cause, just things to watch for and treatment recommendations.

I haven’t had any more seizure activity since that morning. I am diligently taking my medications every 12 hours despite nausea and a somewhat “goofy” feeling that comes with it. I’m sure I’ll hear that the “goofiness” has been present for quite some time but will let the dad jokes slide for now. Physically, I am back to riding my Peloton and trying to build my strength back up. It is amazing how quickly the endurance drops off with missing a week of exercise. I have had wonderful support from family and friends through messaging and calls. It hasn’t hurt that we are seeing the grandsons on most days and they tend to improve my spirits.

What I didn’t count on was the emotional burden this would bring. I’ll be able to get around not being able to drive. I have recently retired friends and Gena to be sure I get where I need to be. I don’t really have many places to go and can limit my schedule quite a bit. Gena reminds me that if Mickey Haller (the Lincoln Lawyer) can do it, so can I. Getting around isn’t the issue as much as the realization that I have a couple of chronic illnesses. For years, taking care of patients with heart issues or seizure disorders was straight-forward with an evidence-based treatment plan. I didn’t spend as much time thinking through the lifestyle changes each one of these issues brought on.

Hopefully I will use this time to reflect and refocus my goals and priorities. I will try to enjoy the time with friends and family as well as work on reading and creating more than consuming knowledge. I appreciate all of the prayers and asked for continued prayer and support for Gena. I suspect I will begin to drive her crazy fairly quickly.