Category Archives: Reflections

Off the Rails But Back on Track

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Wow! That came off the rails in a hurry. After moving into semi-retirement fourteen months ago, I spent a few months working “part-time” and spending afternoons with the grandsons. We have been busy with projects, getting our new part-time home ready for prolonged stays and setting up what would become a fun place for the boys to visit. We almost have it like we want and the boys seem to enjoy staying with us most afternoons when we are in the area. We have also managed to be “in the area” for two weeks out of most months.
What came off the rails is the idea that I am retired (or even semi-retired). I have been putting in full-time hours and that number seems to grow as the house projects decrease. The only thing that changed was that I moved out of direct patient care into a role where I spend a fair amount of time mentoring and monitoring. I also get to spend time optimizing workflows with computer systems letting my inner geek come out. My wife would tell you that I do not have an inner geek- it’s all readily apparent if you know me. Either way, I get to spend time keeping up on the latest advances without being overwhelmed.
The most wonderful part comes in that I now have flexibility in the timing of work. When involved in direct patient care I had a set schedule that someone else controlled. For years, I said that I did not need a watch…I had an office manager, a wife, and a daughter so someone was always telling me what to do and when. I didn’t have to think about what or when, just show up and see patients. In my current role I get to schedule the times I work on projects, the times I schedule meetings, the times I read updates, and the time I have for myself. Being an early riser, this lets me put in a significant amount of work hours by noon giving way to afternoons spent doing the things I love doing. I get to spend time with family and explore options previously not able to wedge into my schedule.
One of the things I love to explore is time management research and how to make use of time and resources that are available to us all. I like to tinker with todo lists, project applications, habit building processes, and critical thinking development. I am enjoying stepping back and taking a look at how this field of time management can be utilized in medicine to help our physician and nurse practitioner resources limit burnout (or moral injury in some cases). How do we protect the time and efforts put in to improve our healthcare systems without putting all of the burden on those already in short supply? How do we preserve the empathy and compassion options while utilizing AI but not putting our patients completely in the hands of machines?
Maybe I used the wrong phrase when I said everything was coming off the rails. Maybe I should have said I was just jumping tracks. Hopefully the tracks I’m on will continue to be joyous but also continue with contribution. I heard a cycling coach say recently that the young riders talked about every day in training is just “one more day”. He, however, saw it as one less day to accomplish the mission. Today, I have one less day to contribute. I want to be sure I am in a physical, spiritual, and mental place to do that.

3 Holiday Treasures

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One day this week I was sitting with my daughter while she was composing an email. “What is the first thing you think about when I mention Christmas?”, she asked. Not realizing that she was looking for something to use as an emoji for a work email, my stammering, stumbling response was “It’s the time we reflect on and celebrate the birth of Christ”. “Well, how do I put that into an emoji?”, she responded. “I don’t know. Why don’t you just use a Christmas tree, Santa Clause, or presents?” I said as I took the shortcut.

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But I started thinking. What is the first thing (or things) I think about when someone mentions Christmas? I could list several items off the top of my head: shopping, cold weather, family and friend get-togethers, dinners, gifts, cards, cookies. Most of the initial thoughts were the superficial things that create busyness and hustling/bustling to get everything done. But is that where my thoughts should go? I took this as a challenge to come up with what really means the most to me. Many things come together to make the holiday season special, but the ones that top my list (in no particular order) are time with family, time for reflection, and time for celebration.

Getting together with family has always been important, though there have been many times that this has been disrupted. Starting with the first rotations in medical school and lasting up to retirement, our holiday get-togethers were always tentative. We all knew that for some part of the season I would be on call and that dinners or events could be interrupted at any moment. While interruptions were not very often, the possibility was there. Over the years I would rotate being on call Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, New Year’s Eve, or any of the days in between. We had to be flexible and allow ourselves time together whenever we could work it out. We were always ready to make last-minute changes and enjoy what uninterrupted time we could get. Being together for meals, games, conversation, and other events still ranks as one of my favorite holiday traditions.

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With children moving into adulthood, spouses and in-laws entering the picture, and the appearance of grandchildren we transitioned into an even more variable season. Putting together schedules for extended family and integrating that into all of our schedules has proven to be a challenge. When you add significant distance to the mix it complicates the season even more. But the one thing that becomes more meaningful is that we seem to enjoy the time we have together even more. Making the effort to schedule time together seems to make us realize the importance of intentionality when planning for the holidays.

I also love taking time to reflect. New Year’s resolutions are common for most of us, and whether it is as simple as “I want to exercise more” or as complex as “I want to start back to school and change careers”, the planning for the coming year comes during the holiday season. I usually start planning around Thanksgiving, reflecting on the current year and trying to look at priorities for the next one. Maybe it’s a product of aging, but I love reflecting on where I have been recently and then projecting where I would like to go over the next several months. Rarely do I meet all of my goals or expectations but the self-awareness I get from the process is rewarding in itself. With the realization that I have lived longer than I have left to live I like to focus on the big things, making sure I have room for them and letting the smaller stuff fit in where it can. Things that are too small to make it into my schedule or plans for the year don’t matter anyway.

Finally, I like to be sure that I keep things in perspective and use this time as a period of celebration. I have many things to celebrate and take time during the year to focus on different aspects of this. During the Christmas season, though, I want to focus on celebrating the birth of Christ and what He has done for me. Coming into the world to offer Himself as a sacrifice for me makes my life meaningful. I am thankful for this and mark the occasion by keeping Him in the center of my activities. Recognizing that whether I am celebrating my family, friends, career, retirement, or health, He is the center of them all. Without Him, I would not have cause to celebrate.

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What is the first thing that comes to your mind when someone mentions “Christmas”? We could all come up with a list and most would be different from mine. I challenge you to take a few minutes over the next two weeks and try to think of three things that mean the most to you. I challenge you to take a minute to put aside the busyness and look at what is truly important to you. I think you’ll be glad you did.

In a World Full of Karens, We Need More Marys

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I think it is safe to say that most of us have calendars and to-do lists that are full. During the holiday season we may see a drop-off in work-related meetings but they are replaced with Christmas parties and social engagements that for the most part are scheduled out of obligation and not desire for connection. Buying gifts, ordering and sending Christmas cards, setting up family gatherings, and planning travel to see distant relatives all culminate during the last month of the year creating chaos out of our already busy lives.

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As these schedules and task lists grow, it becomes easy to be distracted from the purpose of celebrating Christmas. This is displayed wonderfully in Luke’s story of sisters Mary and Martha. Jesus and His disciples are traveling and enter a village where Martha asked them to come into her home- basically inviting them to a last minute dinner party. If her home was anything like most homes of the day, it was a one-room dwelling where cooking, sleeping, and hosting all took place in one area. Imagine what it would be like to have thirteen last-minute guests in your home and the need to prepare a meal.

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Martha was busy with all of the preparations of cooking and making everyone feel welcome. Can you imagine the noise and bustle? I know when we have two or three couples over it is very easy to become overstimulated and difficult to carry on complete conversations while being a “good host”. (I say all of this recognizing that my wife does most of the preparation and work for these events.) Many of the “Marthas” out there would argue that if they did not prepare the meal and get everything just right the party would not be a success. But getting everything “just right” doesn’t need to be the goal. Choosing to bask in His presence should be the goal.

Martha went to Jesus (God Himself) and asked Him to tell her sister to help. He then told Martha that she should not be so anxious and troubled about things, especially about making things elaborate. He told her that Mary wanted to listen intently and understand His teachings. This is evident by her positioning herself at His feet. Again, imagine a busy room with the clamor of noisy conversation, clanging of pots, crackling of firewood, and (most likely) the din of farm animals just outside. Mary CHOSE to put herself at the feet of Jesus to listen to Him teach. She wanted to hear and understand what He was saying. She was focused on what was important.

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Many times, we forget that the most important presents we will give or receive during the holiday season are the gifts of His presence. Whether through meaningful conversations with family, time spent with friends, or time alone spent reflecting, we need to realize what is important. And then we need to focus on that. All of the busyness and commotion of the season is meaningless without recognizing that we are meant to focus on Him and His purpose for use and that is what we celebrate.

For those who celebrate the season only and not the birth of our Lord, they can have the commotion. They can focus on the hubbub and the whirlwind of last minute shopping and scheduling. I choose to focus on the gifts He has given me through family, close friends, freedom, and assurance. I choose to spend time connecting with those things that matter to Him. I choose meaningful conversations with warm embraces. I choose reflection on the opportunities I have been given and search for direction in the best usage of my remaining time. I know what is important for me and pray that I don’t lose that focus. I chose to sit at His feet with Mary and listen. Do you care to join us?